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Have you seen the latest commercial in which an actress is weeping with joy - because it is the first year she DOESN'T need to make a weight loss resolution for the coming year? Quite frankly, I am not there yet. Even with the best plan, weight loss maintenance would seem to require a bit of thought, commitment, and focus - in other words, PERSONAL RESOLVE. Do you struggle like I do with the sense that a personal beauty or style goal could be so far away, why even bother making a resolution to begin with, only to fail?

I am a speech therapist by profession, and help individuals every day change their communication behaviors - a core aspect of one's self-identity. Whether your personal goal is weight loss, personal reinvention, beauty and youth renewal, or simply changing your personal habits for the better - let's translate 5 basic therapeutic principles into ways that your New Year's resolution that will lead to your total success!

1. UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE SO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO BEGIN! The first step in any kind of therapeutic relationship is a complete evaluation of present behaviors and setting appropriate goals. You could recruit others to help - for example a dermatologist to evaluate your skin and provide appropriate suggestions. A cosmetic dentist could evaluate your smile and suggest many ways of changing your appearance. Your beautician could provide you with ideas for completely re-vamping your look. Put together your team - but make sure you are at the top of your own list of evaluators. Take measurements, use video and audio recordings to really see how you look and sound. Gather as much evidence as possible - just don't judge. It's about change, my dear - blame has no place in your plans for the future!

2. HAVE A VISION OF WHERE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE! Here is where you need to allow yourself to dream - if you could change your style, your appearance, your level of health and vitality - how would your life change? In the therapy process, the next step is to set long term goals or outcomes for a client - and determining how to measure success. Let's re-think how to approach this step. For example, if you are very methodical and enjoy creating lists, then write down your objectives on paper and create a spreadsheet to track your progress. Give yourself gold stars for every successful daily action. Try taking a new action each week, and reward yourself with a small incentive for success. Alternately, are you a creative dreamer who sees life in color and prefers to view the entire landscape? Take out your art materials and craft a new vision of yourself that you can use as a template. Use modalities of sound, color, texture, and movement to recruit your emotions and senses into dreaming a new future for yourself. Would your future mean shopping in different stores, participating in different activities, living in a new location, moving in a different sphere?

3. TAKE SMALL STEPS EVERY DAY, WITH ONE CAVEAT. If you are a black and white kind of personality this might be a road block for you. Perhaps you would do better to sign on to a formal program and take the plunge. When I was in my 20s, I wanted to quit smoking, but I was never able to smoke moderately. I could never manage to cut back on my smoking habit in a small way. I quit smoking "cold-turkey" on my 30th birthday (linking this goal to a major life milestone was powerful for me). It was an ugly process and essentially I remained home-bound for two weeks until the shakes, sweats, and tears were behind me. As I have aged, I have relaxed in my need to accomplish everything immediately and have a bit more patience with myself. Think of how you might work with your own psychology. If you are motivated by the large, broad, and grand gesture - then take on a formal program for yourself. If you are soothed by the comfort of daily pleasures, then think of small steps you can take each day to move towards your dream. Just one step every day can take you into your future! Remember, you will arrive there regardless of whether you are focused on your direction or not.

4. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Everyone has days in which the sun doesn't shine, almost everything goes awry, and dreams of the future seem impossible to achieve. On days like this, find small things you can do to comfort yourself. Try never to blame yourself for setbacks. Remove the guilt from a mistake, and it is so much easier to keep moving forward. When we teach children, we always try to reinforce the good things they do, and limit the consequences and scope of poor choices they make. Why not treat yourself at least as well as you would treat your favorite little person? In the therapy process, growth is not as linear as you might imagine. I keep frequent data points to measure growth in my clients, and it frequently is two steps forward, one tiny step back. I reassure my clients that they are continuing to progress - they believe me. Do the same for yourself!

5. KNOW THAT CHANGE FEELS WEIRD SOMETIMES. There is a psychology to change that goes like this: familiarity is comfortable, and trying on new behaviors can be downright uncomfortable. What will people say if you lose a large amount of weight - how will they treat you? Indeed, people will react differently to you. What will other's reaction be to a face lift, braces, a new wardrobe, a new aspiration? How invested are you in maintaining the status quo? There is safety in the familiar, and risk in stretching yourself. For example, if improving your health is your objective, you may need to take a risk and join a health club. This can seem overwhelming to someone who hasn't belonged to a club before. People often experience this psychological hurdle immediately before a surge of progress. This sense of uneasiness is sometimes referred to as resistance. Recognize the sense of "resistance" in yourself - and know that just on the other side of that feeling lies the accomplishment and success you have been hoping for!

The butterfly is a wonderful example of metamorphosis. At the Papillon Closet (French for butterfly), you will find quality clothing items that will help you feel beautiful as you move along your path towards your goals. Please accept my wishes for your personal health and happiness as you look forward to 2009. Happy New Year from the Papillon Closet!